May 2012
April 2012
Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time travelling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're fucking everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Boyfriend is snoring, my face is cold, and I have to get up in four hours.
Sigh.
Still Ill: how to decode a person with an anxiety... →
conjuringseed:
theironinfidel:
weepingaboutmadscientists:
euclase:
things we are trying to do all the time:
be safe
things we can’t help but do all the time:
second-guess ourselves
behave impulsively and reactively
take everything personally
worry
worry
worry
have…
amixedreality:
ladyofmischief:
katoby:
lucifersbutt:
if an opinion falls in the forest and there’s no one around to hear it does tumblr still get offended by it
yes
yes
I had a cousin fall and die in the forest you insensitive fuck
“It’s not even the beautiful things that make me happy. It’s the...”
A Victim Treats His Mugger Right
thepinesaredancing:
Check it out.
^Click this. Right now. At this moment.
“You’re the type of kid that if someone asked you for the time, you gave them your watch.”
6 tags
Slowly wake up.
Tumblr all morning.
Stop at AAA for more Trip Ticket research-y type stuff. Probably be intimidated by all the luggage in-store.
See what magical things Kohl’s has to offer me for ten dollars, since gift cards are cool. Probably find nothing and get intimidated by people.
Doodle nonsense through my art class.
Return to Kohl’s and force myself to buy something.
Ah,...
“I’m in love with him in the sense that I never, ever, ever want to know...”
when people ask a gay couple who is the man and...
‘You’re eating with chopsticks! But which one is the knife and which is the fork?’
uneducatedfuck:
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like
“How did a milkshake manage to develop a gravitational pull that was gender specific?”
People stop being compatible when they turn into the same person.
How bout that.
